© 2007-2008 - All content of this website is Copyright of Martine Y. Moeykens

-A dreamer ... -

Of nature I am a dreamer. I have a poem written by my husband from many moons ago, he not only wrote it but embroidered it with cross-stitch on a penelope canvas in 1983 I think, a beautiful piece of work, a recognition of his love and devotion for me!
Spinner of dreams
From fleeces golden with love
Creating tapestries rich with life
Fire and sensual desire

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* - Reality July 2008-

Our perception of reality is something that shifts and changes all the time. Depending on our emotional state, the depth of awareness, the level of our consciousness, the quality of our connections to other human beings.Coolegaad woods, pine trees

There is nothing more intimate to our personality then our perception of reality and our acceptance of that reality.
In that perception of our reality we 'take in' others, as 'they' become 'realities' in 'our reality' and us in 'theirs'.
A great deal of my reality was that I painted others with the 'tint' of my reality, so if mine is 'rosy' I painted others as 'rosy' and concluded that if their behaviour is 'rosy tinted' then they must be 'rosy' in their reality. A slice of  pink lily's from my garden
Needless to say that this gave me many problems, as I could not fathom that others can quite easily 'act' to please me.
'Acting' is not being 'real' or 'sincere' in my reality and thus has no value and I cannot open up my deepest reality to whoever is 'acting' to please me consciously.
I have come to 'sense' when someone is 'acting' to please me, a fine acute sense of a lack of sincerity in that person and an immediate closing of my need for deepest connection with that person. Why would I waste my time, my energy?? What has that person to gain from being with me? What are his/hers true motives?? and so on ...
If a person has nothing more to offer in his or her connection with me, then a gameplan for the sake of their own self-idolatry or self-deception then I quite gladly will cut the cords. If that person doesn't realise what the motives are of their persistent need to connect with me and they continue to ask for a connection, then I can quite naturally 'play their game' but the ensuing result which I have witnessed can be quite devasting for the person because my game plan at that moment will be in return 'to play their game'. I have no inhibitions to play along, give what they want, then pull away, and in the process it might demonstrate to them the lack of sincerity in their dealings.... but then again it might not.
Does that sound harsh? Maybe so, but then the other side of the spectrum is this ... :
Give me total and unadulterated sincerity and I will return the same , then you have my loyalty for the rest of your existence, my warm and caring friendship, my total devotion, my laughs, my smiles, my compassion, nothing less ... AMEN

* - Deep sincerity as a catalyst -

When a connection between 2 people becomes sincere, it releases all old patterns, all old games, sincerity cleans and makes vibrant and alive, anew afresh ... it forgives the deepest misunderstandings, it makes way for a new understanding, casting the old like a worn skin, familiar but no more needed.
Then LIFE really begins ...

* -Always open to.... -

I am always open to new ideas, new people in my life, new ideas from loved ones, continually incorporating new techiniques for life and knowledge. I cannot conceive life to be other then that I learn every day, be it a lesson from life itself or a new way of cooking pancakes or a new way of being with my close ones.

* - Pursuing a dream -

Yes, this is what I have done my whole life, pursuing a dream, trying to mold my dream into a reality, and yes, I have managed to do just that.
From a very young age I wanted to work with people who were ill and in need of care and of understanding. I have been doing just that for the past 8 years, teaching and working with people who have special needs.
I wanted to live in a country with hills and mountains, space and trees and water, so I have been living on the East coast of Ireland in County Wicklow, on a hill between the Irish sea and the woods and Wicklow Hills or mountains. Second Life build from Carpe Diem Design- Inner courtyard of Riad Mekness
I wanted to build houses, to invent spaces for living, shapes, colours and yes although I have never build a wall in real life, I do build houses, shops in a virtual world, Second Life, of which I am also a member.

Ian & Martine with children, Tadeusz and Jasmin in 1980 - Cabinteely, Co.Dublin I wanted many children, to hug them gently and warmly, relish in their company, their thoughts, their wishes, prepare bread with them and feed them, make clothes for them, have fun with them, be with them when they are sad and lonely, anguished in their deepest depth, be their friend, and their occasional enemy, their funny or 'mad' mam.
My son Krishna turned 18 earlier this year, he replied yesterday when I suggested that I get him another Mam since this one seemed not to quite 'good enough': "No, I don't want to change my mam, I like the mad mam."
I took that as a complement. I have, it seems realised the dream of creating a family with kids of all ages who have been able to accept themselves as they are, express who they are in this life and also be aware that they need to take responsability for their actions in this life. My eldest daughter, Jasmin holding Belle, her daughter, summer 2008My eldest son, Tadeusz at the door in Kenmare Heights - Summer 2008I have grown as a person while being with them, listening to their inner needs, to their criticisms of my behaviour, taken on board their worries about me, taken on board their worries about life and their relationships to others.

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- My Inner Garden -

I have an inner walled garden, it is fairly big, weeds grow through it, everywhere and wave gently in the wind; in the summer it's warm and moist, tall light grey grasses with fluffy white pendulum flowers bend their graceful body, waving softly in the sultry heat.Grass by Rathbeggan lake, May 2008

Yes I have charm ..charm that comes through to greet you, a charm that comes from my heart and soul and is not to be mistaken with trying to get something from you, nay, all I really and truly want from you is for you to connect in all sincerity with me, and in doing that you will receive my deepest and most affectionate and unadulterated warmth and friendship because that is who I am, no less; in doing so I will receive your reality as it stands today, your closeness, your warmth and your reality in all simplicity and sincerity.

I used to be afraid to show that side of me when I was a teenager and when I realised that people who showed that degree of humanity were simply regarded as pityful. I had the impression that I had come to the wrong planet but of course I didn't as and then it gradually dawned on me that it was my task in this life to accept and shine out without any doubt or restricitons that inner light and warmth, no matter what comes.